Saturday, March 26, 2011

A Realisation

This week an announcement was made on an online game that I play. The announcement was that the game would be shut down, and a new version opened. This created such an uproar among some of the regular players that I realised something. There are people who get so caught up in online stuff that it becomes their world! Kind of sad, kind of scary. I have friends in real life, and so very much enjoy the fellowship with them! I'm glad I don't have to rely on an imaginary world to feel safe and on made up characters to have friends.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

My Grandmas

My Grandmas are as different as night and day. They're both wonderful ladies! My dad's mom is a sweet, gentle little lady, what you think of as the stereotypical Grandma. My mom's mom is rather gruff, often seen as hard, stubborn, and very opinionated. While my dad's mom will never correct her grandkids, my mom's mom has always said "I'm not going to treat my grandkids any differently than my own kids" and she hasn't. They both have done beautiful sewing and other handwork, but can no longer because of health issues. I'm a bit closer to my mom's mom simply because I've lived nearer to her for most of my life. While it's easy to see the caring side of my dad's mom, I think a lot of people are fooled by the roughness of my mom's mom, and don't or can't see past it to the caring underneath.

I think I would want to be a good blend of the two should I ever become a grandmother. I realise that that possibility is years down the road, but the time to work on developing the admirable qualities I want to have is now!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The End

...of a lovely weekend. My husband's schedule is such that our weekend is Sunday through Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on the week. This week today is the end. We had a grand time just spending some time together, thoroughly enjoying each other's company, and our delightful little boy. Today we wandered around several bookstores, ate at a fantastic breakfast place for lunch, decided we want a boiled dinner tomorrow, and spent a few hours just talking. I never imagined how wonderful it would be to be married to a loving, godly man! I have been so abundantly blessed!

Monday, March 21, 2011

What a Beautiful Day!

The weather is so pretty right now! My baby and I went to school with my darling, as he was preaching for Chapel today. When we stepped outside at 6:30 this morning, I could tell it was going to be gorgeous! Sure enough, it was. I was able to finish pulling up the ivy on one side of the porch. There's still just a bit going along the side of the house, I'm going to work on it the next pretty day we have.

So, the tally for interesting finds in the ivy so far is:
  • 1 broken CD
  • 1 golf ball
  • 2 cigarette lighters
  • 1 hot cheetos wrapper
  • a bunch of Hyacinth, and tulips(?)
  • More worms than I wanted to count
  • 1 piece of broken pottery
  • 4 or 5 fist sized rocks, and
  • 1 stump

I'm going to take before and after pictures of the other side of the front, so you can get an idea of the difference. Digging up the roots on the side that's finished (I didn't actually get all of the roots up), I found one root that was an inch in diameter! I followed it for a little ways, but realised that to dig up the entire thing, I was going to have to dig up the entire yard. So, I used my fabulous shears and cut the thing out of the ground. Ivy is crazy!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

The Tough Early Days (warning, this post may be hard to read, especially for my family)

I just finished watching "My Sister's Keeper" I cried. It was a tough watch, as it brought back so many memories. Ever since the movie came out on DVD, I've see-sawed back and forth about watching it. I knew it would be a good movie, but didn't know if I would personally be able to handle it. I don't like crying over fictional stories. I've been meaning to record my memories, and figured this would be a good time to do so, since they're right at the surface now.

I remember my baby sister being not like herself. She was complaining all the time of her tummy hurting, and wanted to sleep all day long. My mom kept taking her to the Dr, wondering if her pneumonia had come back, or something else was wrong. They said her lungs sounded clear, and couldn't figure it out. 10 days after she first started acting weird, she was going to the Dr yet again, as it was obvious something wasn't right. As we got her dressed, I noticed her breathing didn't look right. Her ribs looked odd as she breathed. I still can't think of how to describe it, but I remember thinking something was terribly wrong.

Several hours later, I got the dreaded phone call. My mom called to tell me they were taking my baby sister to the children's hospital. She needed me to go pick up the van from the dr's office. Her mom was on the way to pick me up to take me out there to get it. I asked if they (the Drs) had figured it out. She said they were pretty sure, they thought she had cancer. She had to go, I had to go, so we hung up, and I cried. I held it together long enough to get to my bed, then sat there, and cried. Two of my siblings had heard the phone ring, and, since we were all waiting on news of the youngest, came to see if that was it. I don't think I will ever forget the looks on their faces as they realised that I was crying. Their faces fell, their shoulders drooped, it looked like they'd just taken the weight of the world on their shoulders. In that moment, I knew I had to be the strong one for everyone. My oldest brother looked like the world had just come to an end. I told them what Mom had said, we all hugged and cried for a minute, then Grandma was there, and I had to go.

Dear Grandma! I still smile through my tears thinking of her response. I got in her car, and she said, "Well, all your mother said was that I had to come get you so you could get the car from the Drs office. What do they think it is?" I started a fresh round of tears. "Crying isn't going to help anything. What is it?" Yeah, if you don't know my grandma, you can't tell that that was her way of saying "It's going to be okay. I wish I could take your tears away and make it all better right now!" I told her they thought cancer, and she kind of grimaced and nodded.

Later that night I had the difficult task of updating my older sister, who had just gotten married. Before I told her what the Dr said, I asked if her husband was around, I knew she'd need him. I also told her to sit down. I remember hearing her burst into tears, and wishing I could be there for her. I then called several others, got the prayer chain started at church, called my husband (who at that point was a dear friend, but not yet even to the point of boyfriend), and another friend, who offered to come over. I accepted the offer, knowing that we all needed some kind of distraction.

The next day we went in to the hospital for a conference with the Drs to have them explain to us all just what was going on, and what was going to be happening. It turned out she did have cancer. High Risk, T-Cell, Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). Her spinal fluid was 75 % leukemia cells, which meant she could be brain damaged from the cancer, and she would definitely need radiation on her brain. Her white blood cell count was horrible - I can't remember at this point whether they were through the roof high, or incredibly low, either way, that added to the high risk. And, she had a massive tumor in her chest cavity, which was putting such pressure on her heart and her lungs, that they could not put her under general anesthesia to hook her up to the dialysis tubes, catheter, and pic line, for fear she wouldn't wake up from it due to the stress on her organs.

I think that the sight of seeing my baby sister lying in that hospital bed, oblivious to all that was going on around her, hooked up to all those machines, is a sight that will never leave me. She was in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) for just over a week before she was able to be moved to a regular room. She was in the hospital from January 12 until the 28th, for her first hospital stay. There were many of them over the next almost 3 years. I stayed with her a couple of nights so that my mom could get a halfway decent sleep at the Ronald McDonald house. The first time I stayed with her, she started thrashing around, and wouldn't calm down. I took her hand and started singing softly to her. After a couple verses of her favorite song, she calmed down, though she hadn't shown any signs of consciousness. It was hard seeing her there, not knowing if she would take her next breath.

It was a long hard few years, but those first couple of weeks were the hardest. As the tumor shrank, she started being more wakeful, started getting a little bit of her pep back. Once she got to the point of playing "Pac World 3", making pacman body slam the ground again and again and again, we were fairly out of the woods for the time being. The Drs were all amazed at the progress she made with the first round of treatments, and we could only give God the glory.

I remember when her hair started falling out, she didn't want to brush it, cause each stroke carried with it great gobs of hair. She was self-conscious, said she looked funny. I told her that I'd rather have her lose all of her hair, and be getting healthy, than to have all of her hair, and not have her. After that she was fine. We've always had a special relationship. I was the one who could get her to eat and drink what she needed to, and was the only one she would let touch her bald head.

After roughly 3 years of treatments, she had a party to celebrate the removal of her port, which signified the end of her cancer. I was on the West Coast by that point, so wasn't able to make it to her party, but did talk to her at that point. I told her I was glad she was done with her chemo, she replied, "I am too! Know why?" When asked why, her response was, "I don't have to wait to eat anymore!"

As I look back, I see the hard things, but I can also see good that came out of those hard years. It helped me to be able to go with my husband to visit the sick in the hospital, because I no longer saw it as a place of death. Those were still real people in those beds, no matter how many machines they were hooked up to. I didn't see that until it was my own sister in the bed hooked up to the machines. It also helped me to see my absolute dependence on God. Knowing that the drs were experimenting to try to help my loved one, but knowing the Great Physician, and that He knew just what she needed, I spent a lot of time in prayer. I have learned the need to see not only the one physically suffering, but, perhaps more importantly, the ones silently suffering as they watch the physical suffering of their loved one, and are pushed (however unintentionally) to the sidelines because their needs are not as visible.

I'll end with the wonderful news that she's still cancer free 3 1/2 years after her celebratory party! She's becoming a beautiful young lady, and I can see the potential for her to become an amazing woman. God has done great things in her life!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

A Fresh Look

Since today was a beautiful day, I took my baby for his first day outside. He seemed to enjoy himself, we went on a short walk, and met one of our neighbors. Then I spent pretty much the rest of the day pulling up the ivy that wraps around our front porch. What a mess! Ivy apparently has an incredibly complicated root system. After spending around 4 hours working on the stuff, I have about a quarter of it cleared. (if that much) I discovered several more green shoots of some other growing thing (presumably flowers of some kind), trying desperately to grow amidst the tangle of ivy. My neighbor told me that one bunch of green stuff is hyacinth. I'm looking forward to that blooming!

I've discovered in this process, that I really like things nice and neat and uncluttered. That's why I'm not liking the ivy! It finally clicked in my head as I was looking at the smooth dark dirt surrounding the little shoots of green. Then next to it I saw the tangle of ivy that is still there, and it just makes me crazy! Hopefully we'll have enough pretty days that I'll be able to get this all done soon. I'm really quite ready for this weather to be here to stay!

Once I'm finished, I'll share some pictures with you all, so you can also appreciate the pretty freshness of the ivy free front yard.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Really Quickly

I wanted to drop a note to say, "I love my family!" My husband and son, my parents and siblings, and my church family. I'm so glad that God has blessed me with each of them.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Spring!








Yesterday as we got home from lunch, I saw a little patch of purple in the ivy in front of our house. So, I took the baby and my camera, and went out for a closer look. Sure enough, it was a small bunch of crocuses blooming! Then I saw another little spot of color, a bunch of orange crocuses almost ready to open. So, I wandered around the house, and found quite a bit of new green stuff popping up. I'm excited to see what will come from those beautiful little spots of green!



Saturday, March 12, 2011

Excerpts

There is so much contained in this story and the prefaces, that it would be easy to share with you the entirety. However, that would take far too much typing, and could possibly break some copyright laws, unless it's passed into public domain. So, it's probably better to pick a few selections and leave the rest of the tale for your reading pleasure.

...the conversation soon turned on the sermon we had just heard, the topic of which was "selfishness".
"What a change has come over our pulpits", Arthur remarked, "since the time when Paley gave that utterly selfish definition of virtue, 'the doing good to mankind, in obedience to the will of God, and for the sake of everlasting happiness'!" ...
..."At that time," he went on, "a great tidal wave of selfishness was sweeping over human thought. Right and Wrong had somehow been transformed into Gain and Loss, and Religion had become a sort of commercial transaction. We may be thankful that our preachers are beginning to take a nobler view of life."
"But is it not taught again and again in the Bible?" I ventured to ask.
"Not in the Bible as a whole," said Arthur. "In the Old Testament, not doubt, rewards and punishments are constantly appealed to as motives for action. That teaching is best for children, and the Israelites seem to have been, mentally, utter children. We guide our children thus, at first: but we appeal, as soon as possible, to their innate sense of Right and Wrong: and, when that stage is safely past, we appeal to the highest motive of all, the desire for likeness to, and union with, the Supreme Good. I think you will find that to be the teaching of the Bible, as a whole, beginning with 'that thy days may be long in the land', and ending with 'be ye perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect'."

This following passage struck me, as many of the prominent preachers today fit this so well. Not all of them by any means, but I've turned the radio off in disgust many times after starting to listen to one of the men "preach", some of the preaching I heard last year at conventions fit this, and I won't even mention most of the television guys.

"...I must say that our preachers enjoy an enormous privilege--which they ill deserve, and which they misuse terribly. We put our man into a pulpit, and we virtually tell him 'Now, you may stand there and talk to us for half-an-hour. We wo'n't interrupt you by so much as a word! You shall have it all your own way!' And what does he give us in return? Shallow twaddle, that, if it were addressed to you over a dinner-table, you would think 'Does the man take me for a fool?'"

I think that's enough for today. What do you think?

(taken from "Sylvie and Bruno" by Lewis Carroll)

Friday, March 11, 2011

A Little Something

I've been intending to blog everyday except for Sundays, but haven't been doing very well at that. It's hard some days to just come up with something to put up here.

Eventually I want to take the time to type up some excerpts from Lewis Carroll's book "Sylvie and Bruno". I was thrilled with sections of the book, as the characters had conversations that were very insightful, and exactly in line with what I've thought. It also rather refutes the position of him being a druggie. So, that may be tomorrow's post.

I've also thought of doing a post about my Grandma, and one about the early days of my baby sister's cancer (she's in remission now, praise the Lord!), and one about some of my favorite memories.

If you have any ideas for me, let me know! I'd be glad to give it a shot.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

God is So Good!

I found out today that my blood test came back normal! That means the diabetes went away, and I don't have to worry about it again for awhile.

Also, I won't go into details, but another huge need was met completely, which lifts a huge burden off of our shoulders.

My baby is doing great, I love being his mommy! My darling is sleeping, resting up for another long day on the job. I was awake yesterday for as long as he is on work days, and I'll tell you what, it's rough! I don't know how he does it, but he continues on valiantly. I'm so glad that God has provided this job for him, and that he's willing and able to work it. We are so blessed, in so many ways! I just have to say again, that my God is so good!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I Hope I Pass

Tomorrow morning I get to go take another glucose test to make sure my diabetes went away when I gave birth. I'm not sure how long it will take to get the results, but hopefully not too long, and I'll be all clear. The severe thirst has gone away, so I'm hopeful. No matter what, I've gained a little bit better eating habits, so good has come even of this.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Family Tree

So, I asked my mom today, and found out that yes, we are related to that branch of the family tree that I found. Yay! That means we are related to a bunch of famous people, and, doing more research, I found that we can claim William the Conqueror as a multiple times great grandfather! As well as laying claim to be descended from a Princess of Portugal, Eleanor of Aquitaine, Matilda 'Maud' of England, and many many others with a claim to royalty. So, I'm descended from royalty! We're talking England, France, Spain, Italy, Leon and Castile, Germany, Holy Roman Empire, Constantinople, basically most of the old world!

However, telling my mom about the new info I found, she wants me to write it up and send it to her. Have you ever tried writing out a family tree that goes back to 200 AD in spots? How is one to do such a task? I've found loops, and so many branches that it would take a wall or two to fit it in the general "Family Tree" form. I'll do my best, and keep researching. I am super intrigued now! Who knew family could be so interesting?

Friday, March 4, 2011

Cliffhangers...

I've always said I can't stand it when a season finale for a series ends in a major cliffhanger. What happens if the series gets canceled between seasons? Well, I just finished watching the first season of a show that did exactly that. If I'd known, I wouldn't have watched the finale. The series could have ended well with any other episode, but no, it had to end with the only episode that left me wondering "How are they going to get out of this?" This is why we
(they) should either do away with all of the cliffhanger finales or decide before the end of a season whether or not it will be continued, and finale appropriately.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Hmmm

Some days I have a very hard time thinking of what I should write about. I have a ton of thoughts, but a lot of them are either pretty close to something I've recently written on, or would be incredibly boring for most others to read, or too personal to share, or some other excuse for not sharing here on the world wide web! So I guess you get another little post about my baby, since today is one of those days.

I took my little guy for his two month checkup and first round of immunizations on Monday. He's a whopping 23 inches long and 13 pounds 11 ounces. That puts him in the 50 percentile for height, and 90 percentile for weight! He's my chunky guy! The Doctor said he's doing great, and he's happy with the way he's growing.

The shots made him rather cranky for a couple of days, and I suspect that he's also teething and going through a growth spurt. All of which adds together to make one fussy baby at times. I asked him earlier today what he'd done with my happy boy, and if he could please bring him back. Well, after a 2 1/2 hour nap, he did! I have my happy boy back again, he's been talking to me, laughing at me, and smiling up a storm since he woke up from his nap. It's great!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Genealogy

I was curious today, so tried looking up some of my ancestors on rootsweb.com. I discovered that my mom's dad's family come from Wurtenburg, Germany in the 1700s! I also discovered that another portion of the family comes from another little place in Germany, and both of these lines have been in the same place since coming to the US. However, the neatest thing I found was a portion of the family (at least I'm 90% positive that we're part of this line) that traces all the way back to the 900s in France! One of our ancestors (if I'm right) was King of Jerusalem! :D How cool is that? Now I'm off to go research some more to see if I can verify that we come from that line.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

It's March!

A year ago today we brought up the possibility of moving back to IN. We were out running errands, and had stopped at Arby's for lunch. We got done eating, and my sweetie said, "Now what? We could just start driving and see where we end up. I think we have enough money in the bank that we could get to Indiana before we ran out."

That got the ball rolling, and when we got home we made a couple of phone calls that sealed the deal. Two days later we started packing, and two weeks after that, we set out for our next big adventure! What a fun adventure it is going where God leads us, doing what He calls us to do!